Bitterness a Root With a Bitter Fruit – Part One

Ephesians 4: 30 – 32

Jesus wants to help you overcome the most common sin among Christians today. If He can enable you to have victory over the most common of sins, He can enable you to overcome any.

Bitterness is considered by many to be the most prevalent sin among Christians. Do you know any bitter believers?  Have you ever been bitter?  Are you presently harboring any bitterness?

In the New Testament the word for bitterness comes from the word “pikria.” It refers to a person who has become cynical, caustic, sarcastic, hostile, or resentful. It manifests itself by the person becoming negative, unhappy, and critical. Does that remind you of anyone?

We become bitter when we feel God, circumstances, or someone has wronged us, and we can’t do anything about it. We get angry and refuse to forgive. By harboring this anger, we become bitter. 

Dwelling on this past perceived injustice, we develop a negative and critical outlook. Soon everything and everyone seems wrong and worth criticizing. Bitter people build a mental dossier on the failings of others. This outlook causes the bitter person to look for little things about which to make snide, cutting comments, sarcastic remarks, and unkind statements.

Often an experience causing bitterness years ago takes root in a life and influences the rest of that person’s life. It may cause general bitterness or simply bitterness toward persons or things that remind the person consciously or subconsciously of the root cause. 

Often bitterness is felt toward God. When it is, most frequently it is expressed indirectly. Maybe as a child something traumatic happened that you prayed would not happen. Anger toward God arose. Over a period of time bitterness sprouted. It is hard to get your hands on God and exercise vengeance against Him. Therefore, the church becomes the target. Maybe it is even God Himself and the reaction of bitterness is expressed in a denial of His existence.

Every person has hurtful or negative experiences. It is up to the individual as to how to react. A bitter person tends to think their bitterness is the result of someone else. Actually it is a fault in their reaction. It is an improper reaction.

Bitter people often are resentful when it is suggested the only way to free yourself from bitterness is to forgive. An attitude of why should I offer the offended a “Get out of jail free” when it is they, not me, who caused it. In forgiving another it is actually you who is freed. Until you do forgive, the offender has you in the prison of guilt. Good news, you have the key, forgiveness. Let it go. Get your grudge off the lease and forgive as gratitude for the forgiveness the Lord offers you.

Are You as Frustrated as a Bee in a Plastic Flower Plant? Part Five

Luke 21: 25 – 28

Having given attention to things not to do in relation to frustration, now consider things to do when frustrated.

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

First, live honestly. “Repay no one evil for evil” (Vs. 17). The great Booker T. Washington said, “I will not allow any man to make me lower myself by hating him.”

Live Harmoniously. “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (Vs. 18). Do all you can, without compromising your convictions, to achieve peace and harmony.

Live Humbly. “Do not avenge yourselves” means don’t take the law into your own hands.

Realizing we have frustrations we must learn how to deal with them.

Respond constructively. Psychologist Dr. William Knaus was quoted as saying frustration can “stimulate positive change.” Resolve to let it do so. Work for positive change.     

Learn to laugh at things that frustrate you. Depending on how you look at them they can be some of the funniest events. 

Rely on the Lord. “The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in the time of trouble” (Psalms 9:9). To the oppressed, refuge is offered. On occasion all us are oppressed by circumstances or people.

We are a generation that has been taught to demand its rights. No race of any generation has been so committed to demanding rights. Because of the popularity of this mentality, however “Let each esteem others better than themselves” (Phil. 2:3). “In honor preferring one another” (Romans 12:10).

Can you imagine Christ demanding His rights? “Here Peter, you take this towel and bowl and wash my feet. That’s your job – not mine.”

Resort to prayer.  “Cast your burden on the Lord and He shall sustain you” (Psalms 55:22). You can express frustrations to the Lord. He cares for you. 

Wait upon the Lord. Consider the emotional, cultural, financial, or educational prison in which you might presently be.

Dr. Knaus said frustration could have a “disorganizing effect on memory and behavior.” You not only need a clean conscience, but a clear mind to deal with frustration. 

“Wait on the Lord, run not before Him.” By not waiting on the Lord you may be about to prevent Him from doing a great and mighty work in your life.

Are You as Frustrated as a Termite in a Yo-Yo? Part Four

Luke 21: 25 – 28

Frustration is so common it is expedient to consider a biblical approach as to how to deal with it. Consider some does and don’ts in dealing with it. Two different daily posts will relate to this. The first day is devoted to things not to do.

Don’t resort to vindicating yourself by finding someone to blame for it.

In their time of frustration many people try to find someone or something to blame in order to justify themselves. “They made me do” is a cover-all for all sorts of inexcusable attitudes and actions.

Author, Dr. Knaus said, “We cause our frustrations because of what and  how we think…”

Solomon wisely wrote: “As a man thinks in his heart so is he” (Proverbs 23:7). If an individual or a group starts thinking they have been wronged and have the right to destructively retaliate, violence results.

Few people are willing to take responsibility for their own actions. One of the most extreme possibilities I have heard of in this matter relates to a report that peanut butter allegedly increases one’s sex drive. Can’t you just hear some rapist pleading innocent in a court of law declaring: “I am innocent, Jiffy made me do it.” “…each of us shall give an account of himself to God” (Romans 14:12).

Never do wrong in order to get a chance to do right.

“Do not evil that good may come.”

“See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourself and for all” (I Thes. 5:15).

Don’t resort to violence.  John the Baptist was God’s oracle who said, “Do violence to no man” (Luke 3:14).

Proverbs 16:32 reminds us: “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.”

Violence may hurt others but it doesn’t help you.

Don’t get “ballistic” over your frustrations. 

Plato said, “The good man will suffer evil rather than do evil.”

Don’t resort to vengeance. Don’t ever resolve to get even with someone.

Vengeance is reserved by God for His exclusive use. In that way it will judicially be applied. “Do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath… Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord” (Romans 12:19).

If vengeance is God’s business, get out of His way and let Him to His work. He doesn’t need your help. 

And as for you, well “Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” (I Peter 5: 7)

Are You as Frustrated as an Eskimo in His Fur Trimmed Parka in Hawaii? Part Three

Luke 21: 25 – 28

In general there are two types of frustrations.

There are episodic frustrations which are temporary problems, such as missing an important phone call, trying to get a knot out of a shoestring while friends call you a klutz or worse, or being unable to solve a computer glitch. 

An episode of frustration is you slamming the fridge door because your favorite snack isn’t there.

It’s you kicking the cat or dog because someone chewed you out when you didn’t deserve it.

There are process frustrations which occur when a person continuously feels blocked in an area of life. Process frustrations build up and cause major problems. 

It is you and circumstances standing face to face with life shouting “no way” and you responding “yes way” and circumstances won’t yield.

A few years ago psychologist William Kraus wrote a book entitled “How to Conquer Your Frustrations.”  Some of his observations are worthy of noting.   He said:

1. Frustrations exist when our wants, wishes, and desires get thwarted or interrupted. The feeling results from disparities between what we want and what we find available. For example, when our level of aspiration exceeds our level of achievement, we will likely experience frustration.

2. Frustrations can range from imperceptible to powerful.

3. Frustration starts from a feeling of discomfort.

4. We cause our frustrations because of what and how we think about our frustrations.

5. Strong frustrations result in mixed emotional states that have a disorganizing effect on memory and behavior.

6. Depending on how we interpret our feelings of frustration, they can stimulate positive change, aggression, regression, complacency, or compulsive behavior.

This last one means you choose how you will respond to your frustrations. Options are available to you. You are not a slave to your heredity or environment. You have willpower. You are responsible.

In their time of frustration many people try to find someone or something to blame in order to justify themselves. “They made me do it,” is a cover-all for all sorts of inexcusable attitudes and actions.  

Are You as Frustrated as a Sheep That Is Allergic to Wool? Part Two

Luke 21: 25 – 28

Webster defines frustration as “a deep chronic sense of insecurity arising from unresolved problems.”

You know that from your own experience. It is when you want something or want to do something real badly and things happen that just step in your way and shout “NOT.”

You have seen it, or perhaps you have been the one seen, whose plans are frustrated and you go ballistic.

Youth experience it when they get all “jacked up” and life kicks out the jack, causing a big letdown.

Frustration is a Moses coming to a much-needed spring of water and finding it dry, starts beating on the rock with his rod.

It is a John who gets fed up with the opposition and asks Jesus to call down fire from heaven on them.

Do you ever feel as frustrated as the fellow who bought a new boomerang and had trouble throwing the old one away?

At times you can feel it building. Resources aren’t available or have run out, time to act is elapsing, people to help have abandoned and the pressure rises until finally “melt-down.”

It is you senselessly honking your horn in a traffic jam.

It is our response to a comedy of confusing circumstances that keep us from being punctual at an appointment.

It’s kicking carpet when things just won’t go right.

It’s our reaction to the toaster which burns our toast and smokes up the house when we are in a hurry to get going.

It’s the burning of Los Angeles when a jury reaches a verdict that from the public view seems to be wrong.

In such times we need supernatural help to: “Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.” “But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.” “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.” (Proverbs 14: 27)

Prayer and reflection of familiar Bible verses are two stellar aids when frustration is boiling on the back burner.