Archive for January, 2024
Old Age
Ninety-two years have lapsed since the year of my birth. There is not a person alive who can attest to that, but I know I was because here I am. I knew I was getting older, but I had no idea it would happen so fast.
For years I have dreamed of getting more mature, not realizing it comes from the passage of time.
As a youth I questioned whether I would live long enough to see the year 2000. Now that is so far past I barely remember that millennial night when folks sat up all night with their shotgun across their lap to protect their bottle water.
I am physically blessed for my age except for a few hitches in my giddy-up. I am not going to complain about those. A few years ago one of our sons-in-law, who is a physician, showed me a medical book over an inch thick listing most of the possible human ailments. Rather than complain about the few I have, I thank the Lord for the many I don’t have. It’s a wonderful life.
As many of our faculties decline our faith has the greater opportunity of growing stronger and enriching our life. Job properly noted, “With long life is understanding.” He further declared “… increased years should teach wisdom.”
Years wrinkle our bodies, but only to stop dreaming, imagining, hoping, and aspiring wrinkles the soul. The belief that youth is the happiest time of life is founded on a fallacy. We grow happier by giving ourselves to something bigger than ourselves. I did and still do. The happiest people are those who think the most uplifting thoughts.
Two varied sources of wisdom deserve to be heard on aging. The wise old baseball pitcher Satchel Paige asked, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was?” Well?
Abraham Lincoln reputedly said, “You are as old as your fears, and as young as your faith.”
Getting old is a blessing, not everyone gets to so why complain about being blessed. There really is a fountain of youth. Spain’s Ponce De Leon popularized the idea of a magic spring to be found somewhere in the New World. He was looking in the wrong place. It is within each of us. It is refreshed by the people we love, the talent we share, the giving of ourselves to the advantage of others. Drink deeply of it.
Being weighed down by “stuff” robs one of contentment. The most fulfilled person is the one preoccupied with laying up treasure “where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
The Jewish Torah shares this wisdom, “Spiritual aging causes one to become stagnant, and evaporates vitality and pleasure. It causes withering ….” To avoid such stagnation I want to perpetually keep seeking wisdom and knowledge. To do this I must “Study to show myself approved unto God … rightly dividing the Word of God” II Timothy 2:15.
When the time comes, as it surely will, that I draw my last breath may it be said of me as it was of Abraham, “Abraham breathed his last and died in a ripe old age, an old man and satisfied with life…” Genesis 25: 8.
Talk About It
Do you know how to converse? It is absolutely amazing how many people don’t. A tennis match illustrates a basic technique. If the ball is hit to you the object in keeping the game going is to hit it back, to return it.
The same is true in conversation, you return the talking point.
If you know how to ask questions you can keep a conversation moving. By doing so the person with whom you are talking will consider you a brilliant conversationalist. Asking who, what, when, where, why are conversational life preservers. Simple and to the point is the best way to get your point across.
Listening is another vital part of conversation. If while listening to a person’s comment or story you are thinking all the while of a similar personal experience with which to respond and by using it you are aborting your friend’s story. If instead of asking a follow up question you respond with a remark such as, “I know a person who had a similar experience,” or “My daddy he ….,” you are showing a lack of interest in the story being told to you. Doing so shows disrespect. Perhaps you never thought of it in that way, but you need to.
Stories are great, but don’t be a conversational narcissist—make sure you do equal talking and listening by asking for their stories as well. The most important rule for being a good conversationalist is to learn to listen.
One of the biggest mistakes in conversing is going into too many details. Never say, “Long story short.” They rarely are. Instead just keep it short. Give the other person time to participate without boring them with too many details.
Don’t say anything unless you have something to say. Babble is boring. The problem is many people think their babble is interesting to everyone. It isn’t. The listener often gets lost in the details and becomes disinterested. Keep it short and significant. Constantly talking isn’t necessary communication.
Evaluate as to whether the story you are about to tell will be of interest to your companion or if it only interesting to you, and serves as a sort of a tribute to an unrelated person, but it is not really relevant.
Scripture has a lot to say about conversation that is worthy of attention.
“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear” Ephesians 4: 29.
“Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person” Colossians 4: 6.
“He who restrains his words has knowledge, And he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding” Proverbs 17: 27.
The most important communication you can have is with the Lord. When you pray, remember which one of you is God.
How to Be Angry Without Sinning – Part Six
Ephesians 4: 26, 27
At the end of the chapter containing our text is specific instruction for dealing with anger (Vss. 31). Notice – – – “rage and anger”
“Rage” translates the Greek word THUMOS which refers to an inward feeling. It literally means to “get hot.”
“Anger” translates the Greek ORGE and signifies an actively expressed emotion. If “rage” means to get hot, anger” means to boil over.
Next, three improper ways in which anger is expressed are noted. “Brawling” or “clamor” is one. It means screaming and crying. Don’t do it. If you start – – – stop.
This can turn into “slander” or “evil speaking” where we defame someone.
Character assignation then turns into “malice” which is a desire to injure a person.
Let all of these traits be put aside for Christ’s sake.
Consecrate yourself to the Lord and those things right in His sight.
This has two facets. They are: “don’t give place to the devil” for when you do you “grieve the Holy Spirit.”
If you are having trouble with any of the emotions listed in verses 31 and 32 there is a way of victory. It consists of forgiving the person with whom you are angry out of appreciation for Christ having forgiven you.
If Christ, who is absolutely holy, can forgive us with all of our guilt, surely we can show our appreciation by forgiving a peer.
This series of posts has dealt with anger. Hopefully they have been helpful. If the principals from Scripture are applied you now have more tools to use in controlling your anger.
Remember, “For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
You are responsible for controlling your temper with the help of the Holy Spirit. Don’t expect Him to do it for you. Don’t attempt to do it without His help.
Controlling your anger is an initial act that results in a lifestyle. The challenge will always be there. So will the God given ability.
“This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God” James 1: 19, 20.
Observe this theme from Ephesians 5:1. The Phillips Translation reads: “As children copy their fathers, you, as God’s children, copy Him.”
How to Be Angry Without Sinning – Part Five
Ephesians 4: 26, 27
How are we to avoid improper anger?
It is a flash of anger that gets us into most trouble. With that in mind Seneca said the greatest cure for anger is delay. Purpose to always delay before getting angry. Resolve to let Jesus review each case before you respond in anger. Determine to run each experience through the final filter of prayer.
Thomas Jefferson said, “When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, count to a hundred.”
Let me add, if you are angry after counting ten — demand a recount.
Love is backwards to anger. Love for God is opposite to anger with His creation. Love will hold down irascible anger so that reason and the spirit of love can control improper passions.
At the end of the chapter containing our text is specific instruction for dealing with anger (vs. 31). Notice – – – “rage and anger”
“Rage” translates the Greek word THUMOS which refers to an inward feeling. It literally means to “get hot.”
“Anger” translates the Greek ORGE and signifies an actively expressed emotion. If “rage” means to get hot, “anger” means to boil over.
This is an appeal to avoid letting something build up in you to a boiling stage and exploding. Avoid this by not being a collector. Don’t put little irritants in a memory book like you would pictures in a photo album. Don’t be a scorekeeper in the sense of keeping a record of injustices done by others. Have you ever noticed that people who are scorekeepers always win in their own minds?
Abraham Lincoln, on hearing a friend express anger toward someone, advised him to sit down and write a letter expressing his feelings. “It will do you good,” he said.
When the letter was written it was read to Lincoln. The president complimented it for its rigid and harsh content. This pleased the author who asked, “How would you advise me to send it?”
“Send it?” said Lincoln, “Oh, I wouldn’t send it. I sometimes write a letter like that — it does me good, but I never send it.”
The person you let anger you is the person who controls you.
Here is a super way for those who really have trouble with anger. Keep an anger “mad scorecard.” Though we should never keep score of wrongs done to others it is good to keep an actual scorecard on the times you control your own anger. Every time you avoid getting mad, write it down. Make it a game. Each day review your actions. Conscientiously keep a record and strive to improve. See how long you can go without improper anger.
How to Be Angry Without Sinning – Part Four
Ephesians 4: 26, 27
How can a person be angry and NOT sin? The Jesus kind is indignation. Decide to be angry about things and not with people. Love people, but discern right from wrong. That is God-like. He loves the sinner, but hates the sin.
In this frame of reference, one of our primary sins is not having enough of the right anger. We have become tolerant of everything and reluctant to stand for right. Determine to be angry about the right things. Avoid simply being irritable and hyper-sensitive about personal matters. Deal with moral issues.
How then can I deal with anger?
“Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways…” (Proverbs 22: 24, 25).
In light of the scientific insight shared, comply with Proverbs 29: 11, “A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back.” A modern translation reads: “A fool gives vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”
Anger is like a lovely vase which breaks itself upon that which it falls.
Our text gives two significant steps in dealing with anger.
First, …”do not let the sun go down on your wrath.” Phillips: “Don’t go to bed angry.”
Next, “nor give place to the devil.” That is, don’t give the devil a beach head in your life. Don’t give him opportunity to take advantage of your anger for his purposes. Don’t let the devil develop your anger into a grudge or an unforgiving spirit. Don’t compromise with the devil.
He will lead you to rationalize that the person deserves for you to be angry with him or her.
Anger is a wind that blows out the lamp of the mind. Think clearly about it. Anger does more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to the one on which it is poured.
Utilize the technique of Christ Who when tempted said, “Get thee behind Me, Satan!” (Matt. 16:23).
We are counseled to “Resist the devil and he will flee from you” (James 4: 7). To resist means to carefully array yourself for battle with the enemy. Do this by prayer and Bible application.
Scripture exhorts us to “possess our souls in patience.” Whoever is out of patience is out of possession of his or her reasoning.
In order to avoid giving place to the devil, resolve to work on improving your disposition, that is, your temperament. Some go to a health club or gym to work out and improve their body. Many go to church and/or Bible study to improve their spirit. Why not put an equal effort into a workout for your disposition? Resolve to make your disposition, your temper, submissive to the will of Christ.